The death of someone we love is overwhelming. You can’t compare the feeling to anything else in life. I remember how distraught I was when my pets died when I was younger. It was painful. How can something so sweet and innocent just be taken away? it’s just another moment in mother nature’s cycle of life – something leaves this world and is replaced by another. I was probably too excessive when I look back at my emotions to losing my pets, but I genuinely loved them. To some people, pets are just a necessity but for others, including me, they were apart of the family and I loved them just as much as everyone else.
The first person I truly lost was my grandmother. She lived life to the fullest even with deteriorating health. She kept her problems to herself but it never stopped her doing what she wanted. She was a social hub – everybody knew her. She used to spend a couple of days a week either on a trip to the seaside (pissing around as I would say!), playing in a quiz or going to the theatre with friends.
I was 28 years old when she passed away. I’m eternally grateful and blessed to have had so many years of love, comfort and happiness with her. As of writing this, I am smiling with great pride because I’m reminiscing about all the beautiful moments we shared together. Losing her only made me more motivated than ever to do the best for my mother, grandfather and future children.
We all cope differently with grief. There’s no right or wrong way to control your emotions. Some people won’t ever truly recover from a loss. I was numb for days when I lost her. Everything was complex. I couldn’t connect how she was living her life yesterday but gone the next.
I thankfully never went through the symptoms of living with regret. I always tell my family that I love them more than anything. I live my life for them. I do my best to put any argument to bed because tomorrow is never guaranteed. I also represent my family with huge pride too. However, I know some people go through life living with regret and wishing they did things differently. Its sad people feel they must carry a burden. You did what you thought was right at the time and not every situation was your fault. We all say things in the heat of the moment. We’re all human and make mistakes. At the end of the day only you know if your love for each other was real. Love conquers all.
Keep yourself busy. Time will help you heal but you need to be active to move forward. Whether it's by being in the company of friends or putting music in your ears and smashing out a good gym session. Use this time for real personal growth. It’s time to upgrade and become the best version of you. Use what you’ve lost as the biggest motivation to get what you want in life. The people who are looking down on you don’t want to see you suffer. Be fearless, honour them and go for it.
We will all be reunited again one day.