I hesitated whether I was going to write a post about relationships because talking about this topic only reminds me of what I lost in the past. The breakup was the start of a tough couple of years as it was during this time when I started to suffer from mental health issues.
I’ve been on both sides of a relationship. My first relationship was atrocious. I was being manipulated all the time and I struggled to take control of my feelings. I kept going back to her even after all the shit she put me through. I was naive and it’s embarrassing when I look back at what I use to do. She showed no respect but I continued to worship the ground she walked on.
My second relationship went back and forth for a few years. We separated for over a year before I was given another opportunity to make things right. I used the time away to improve and return a better version of myself. My goal was always to end up back in her life and it worked. However, we split a year later and it was crushing. I showed more affection to the girl who treated me like shit than the one who really loved me.
Most people hate being single/alone because they miss the intimacy and validation. I know spending the weekends alone can suck especially during the winter but it’s also free time you should spend to improve your life such as learning a new skill or working towards your dreams regardless of the difficulty. Yet people continue to waste valuable time waiting for the perfect soul mate to unexpectedly knock on their front door.
I’m not an advocate for dating apps as I’ve never used one but I think it’s the equivalent of playing pass the parcel. I think some apps are sleazy and the filters make most pictures deceiving. I know some people who have found success on them so maybe it’s unfair or hypocritical to judge something I’ve never used. Nevertheless, I do think the digital age of dating takes away the fun of bumping into your soul mate down the pub or wherever you cross paths in life.
Trying to let go and move on from someone you love is one of the most difficult paths. It’s harder than ever to move forward now with society engrossed in social media. It only takes a few seconds to find what your ex is up too and it hurts when you see them move on without you. The reason some people move on faster than others is that they withdrew their emotions a long time before the relationship ended.
My advice is to erase them from existence. You must find the courage to block them. Don’t ever fall for the ‘let’s stay as friends’ trap neither. It’s just an excuse to keep you around until they find someone to replace you. I cringe when I see people jumping back into the arms of someone who continues to hurt them. You don’t deserve to be emotionally scarred by someone who doesn’t care for you. Life's too short to spend it with someone who doesn’t value you.
If you’re going through similar events now then please stop all contact and set yourself free. Embrace change and work on your flaws so you can give the best version of yourself to someone who truly loves you. You never know who might be on the other side of the door.