The following post is a guest post I wrote for @Thoughtfulbeg over at https://www.thethoughtfulbeggar.com/
Please check out his blog and follow him on twitter. Each guest post also receives a special piece of artwork made by his wife. A lovely touch.
Have you ever heard of the term – tunnel vision?
I first heard it by former undefeated professional boxer, Floyd Mayweather Jr. He said in an interview it was his way of staying focused without the distractions of fame disrupting his momentum of being the best fighter in the world. I started to learn his philosophy because behind his flamboyant character is a very determined individual who retired as arguably the greatest of all time. My future opponents won’t be throwing punches but anxiety, depression & suicidal thoughts hit harder than any fist. The light at the end of the tunnel in my life is the success of my blog, travelling the world to promote my brand and finding a nice girl to share my memories.
I’m writing these words during the hardest chapter of my life. My world is becoming smaller around me each day as I try to hold everything together. My grandfather has terminal cancer, I’m unemployed and there doesn’t seem to be a vaccine for COVID-19 anytime soon. I’m trying to keep my eyes on the light at the end of the tunnel but I feel trapped by the darkness around me. I’m trying my best to stay motivated but I seem to have lost all sense of emotion.
There are days when I feel sad and others when I want to fight the world. I’m angry at anyone who talks to me. I just don’t care about anyone other than myself and my grandfather. I don’t want to feel like this forever although there are days when I want to end it all. Suicide is on the rise with men who suffer from mental health problems. It does cross my mind once in a blue moon but there must be a reason why I’m still typing today and not hurting myself. I won’t do anything while my grandad is still with me because he continues to inspire me and gives me a reason to keep living.
I created concealedvoices.com to encourage men not to quit in difficult times. I want it to be the number one source for men’s mental health in the world. A place where any man can take a few minutes of his day to find inspiration from a blog post, a picture on Instagram or the words from another man going through the same struggle. My project is the only thing I got going right for me and I would be lost without it. It gives me a purpose to keep moving forward even when the dark and negative thoughts cross my mind. I’ve always been a dreamer than an achiever but maybe I can look back on these words one day and say – I made it. I created the world’s biggest online platform for men’s health and hopefully saved a life or two.
To all those reading, I wish you all the best on your path in life. People say to me life is precious even when you experience the darkest days. I guess a sad reality is there's someone in the world going through much worse than me or you but continues to walk because they need to. Maybe to feed a family or to honour somebody they lost. We’re all here for a reason even if it might take some of us a majority of our lives to find out why. I’ll continue to try and strive for greatness in my own mind. I hope you do the same – whatever your goals, big or small. Until we cross paths – good luck and don’t be scared to reach out.